Think for a moment about the last dinner you had with your family or friends. Have you done the exercise of counting how many simultaneous conversations occur? Sometimes there seem to be more conversations than people!
This does not help smartphones. In certain age ranges and in certain circumstances, people prefer to send messages, rather than talk.
In some cases, for convenience, in others, because it is easier to write it (we avoid the trouble of having to say it in person), in others by pure habit, but the result is that we talk to more people, but we have much less expensive conversations to face (live or by phone).
Focus On The Conversation
If you are talking to someone, focus on that. If you have a thousand things in your head, the conversation doesn't interest you too much for whatever reason, don't have it. It's that clear. If we want to have a conversation that really brings us that is productive for both parties, we must leave everything to pay maximum attention. So nothing about mobile phones, television, mental notes on pending tasks, etc. etc.
Don't Go Expert
Between providing a piece of information and going as an expert, there is an important difference. To have a good conversation, you have to assume that you always have something to learn from the other.
If you think that you are the greatest expert in something, it will not take long to realize that you are not the one who knows most about your specialty and that there are people who know a lot about many other things.
The key is to go with an open mind, think that you can always learn something from each conversation until you end up giving your opinion so that the other party expresses itself more freely. You will have time to respond and argue.
Use Open And Generic Questions
The more open the question, the more you will make him think, and the more interesting his answer will be. If you are specific, you end up guiding the answer. It is not the same to ask, were you afraid yesterday? How did you feel? With the first question, the answer will stick to fear and set aside other feelings you might experience.
Let The Conversation Flow.
For a conversation to take on a life of its own, it is important that it flows, that it is a continuous 'give and take' in which ideas go alone. If you insist on recovering that data, that anecdote that you had in mind, you stop listening, and also, when you release it, you will hinder the conversation. If it made sense 1 minute ago, it is most likely that I don't have it that much now. Let go of that 'phrase.' The opportunity will come again or not. Never mind.
If you don't know something, acknowledge it.
You have no obligation to know everything. You don't have to be an expert on each topic. Although it is a national sport (before football) to think about everything, many times we can save it.
Don't compare your experiences with yours.
Sometimes it may seem empathy, but we are really trying to divert the conversation. We are trying to regain control. If they are telling us something, it is for us to listen to them. Not for us to compare his suffering/success with ours. We will never live things the same way as the other person.
Don't Repeat Yourself
When we have a clear argument, we tend to repeat it n times. In the same way or with different approaches, but with the sole objective of making our point of view clear again and again. That you say it once is enough. If you doubt if the other person has understood it, it is better to ask him, have you understood my point of view? how about,…?
Skip the details
The other party has not come to learn statistics, historical data, or on the contrary unimportant details that contribute nothing to the conversation. He has come to see you. Besides, people don't care too much about the details.