America Needs You Tonight NKU, Shock The World

Listen, we don’t know a lot about the NKU Norse basketball team. No one does, the students at NKU don’t know that much either. That doesn’t matter though. What does matter is NKU is playing Kentucky, the devil in blue. The team with the slick head coach, the success, the history and the team that owns the state.

What America needs is for NKU to shock the world. For David to beat Goliath, for Team USA to beat Iceland, we need NKU to beat Kentucky. Obviously NKU doesn’t have the same talent. They weren’t highly recruited, they haven’t given a shot to win. The committee thought it’d be cute to match these teams up.

#2 seeds have been beaten before. Last year Middle Tennessee beat #2 Michigan State, it’s possible. NKU wants this match up too, what better way to announce you’ve arrived than beating Kentucky. This feels a lot like Wichita State beating Kansas in the tournament. Kansas refused to schedule Wichita State, so they waited for their shot at KU in the tournament and won. How about IUPUFW this season against Indiana, shock the world. The mid major school beat the state school. That needs to be NKU this season.

What’s So Bad About Kentucky?

Surely that can’t be a real question? When you think about it the team isn’t that bad. They aren’t a hateable bunch of kids, no Kentucky team is really that unbearable. The biggest issue is the coach and the fan base.

John Calipari by all accounts is a bit of a sleaze bag. The slick hair, suits, the attitude, all of it is beyond annoying. He tries to act like this basketball messiah with all the answers. Combine that with his ability to commit numerous violations that have resulted in vacated seasons and wins at his previous stops and he becomes hateable. Also a 30 for 30 being made about him when he has one National Championship is hilarious.

The fan base is the worst part of BBN. A million walk on fans, people that have never left their little town, their holler, are Kentucky fans. They love to tell you how great Kentucky basketball is, they refer to opposing players by racial slurs and can’t seem to understand what is wrong with that. They never graduated from school, they never had a family member go to school there. But they know blue is for Kentucky. BBN is by far the worst part of Kentucky basketball. Ashley Judd is their most famous fan, let us see her crying face please. It’s so beautiful.

So NKU, if you could do everyone a favor and beat Kentucky that’d be phenomenal. No one expects you to, but on the off chance you do please lay into BBN for the rest of time. If you do lose, you were supposed to so don’t let BBN Twitter gloat in your face.

Please though, sports gods make this happen.

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