Breaking Down The Reds Players Weekend Jerseys

Next weekend MLB players will be participating in “players weekend” which is a direct copy of what the NBA does but this is America’s pastime so it’s the first time it has been done. Players will be allowed to wear their nickname on the back of their jersey. The jerseys appear to be the old school pullover kind, not the button up. The Reds should always wear the pull over’s like they did back in the day, make that a thing again and get rid of this stupid script Reds logo.

You’ve been staring at that graphic of all the names on the jerseys trying to figure out who is who. We’ll break it down;

#19 Tokki 2 – Joey Votto chose Tokki 2 because former teammate Shin-Soo Choo is Tokki 1. Tokki means rabbit in Korean and Votto said he was always playing catchup to Choo. Here is what he told The Enquirer;

Choo. The two played only one year together, in 2013. Choo started the season hot, hitting .337/.447/.554 in the first month. Every day when they crossed paths, Votto would explain how he was trying to catch Choo.

Halfway through the year, Votto came up with a metaphor for his pursuit.

“Have you ever been to a dog track?” Votto asked Choo.

“Yep,” Choo replied.

“You know those rabbits in the middle the spin around the center of the dog track that dogs chase but can never catch?” Votto asked.

“Yep,” Choo said again.

“That’s how I feel about you,” Votto said. “No matter how much I chase, I can’t catch you.”

#21 Zen Master – Michael Lorenze went with the yogi approach. California kid, of course he’s zen.

#2 Coach –  Zach Cozart being nicknamed “Coach” is the least surprising thing ever. Dude is business, plays baseball how it was meant to be played and works hard. Real grinder, like a white Patriots receiver.

#6 Bone – Billy Hamilton picking Bone has my brain in a pretzel. We’ve heard he likes to bone from a few female sources in the city but it can’t be because of that. If it is, holy shit. Should have picked Speed or Man of Steal. Get it?

#43 Scheb – Scott Schebler, you get it.

#4 Ryan – Scooter Gennett went with his government name. Respect the hell out of this move. What’s your nickname? “Ryan.” Huh, interesting.

#34 Homer – Homer Bailey’s conversation went like this. “Homer what is your nick name?” “Homer” alright then. Should have been Christian Bale.

#23 Duvy – This is just lazy on Duvall’s part. Like a hockey nickname where you just add a “y” on the end of their name.

#29 Finny – See above.

#28 Disco- DeSclafani went with the Disco nickname. All in with that one. Disco Stu and Homer on the same team. Let’s part.

#16 Barney – Tucker Barnhart went with Barney which is a play on his last name but I’m going with a Simpson’s reference to ride with Disco and Homer.

#58 La Piedra – Luis Castillo went with “The Stone” respect the hell out of that move.

#7 Nicolle – Eugenio Suarez calling himself Nicolle has me so lost. I’ve got nothing, is he trying to tell us something?

#36 Blake – What the fuck Blake Wood, the best you could come up with is Blake?

#32 Stu – Stuart Turner is the Stu to DeSclafani’s Disco.

#31 Homage – Drew Storen calling himself Homage is bizarre. He’s either really into comfortable t-shirts or he is paying homage to the game.

#30 Arismel  – Arismendy Alcantara cut two letters off his name. NICKNAME.

#3 Believe –  Patrick Kivlehan going with “believe” is bizarre. Unless you have to believe you’re going to make it to the majors. I believe Pat knows how to do some eating.

#65 Wojo – Asher Wojciechowski has the hardest fucking name in the history of the MLB to pronounce, probably. Wojo is what everyone calls him now anyways.

#61 Free Love – Bronson Arroyo is the epitome of free love. Better bring his guitar in the dugout.

#53 La Grasa – Wandy Peralta is calling himself “The Fat” new favorite player, get me a La Grasa jersey tomorrow.

#46 The Microwave – Tim Adleman seems like a weird dude who has spent too much time around radio waves.

#39 Rocko – Mesoraco has the perfect last name to be a fan of Rocky’s Modern Life.

Pretty solid line up of names, it’ll be cool to see everyone be loose for a weekend even if they did just pick their normal name. MLB has an identity problem and this won’t fix it but it will help everyone relax.

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Owner/creator of Cincinnati grad, have a complaint complain to me.

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