Cincinnati.com Coming In Hot With Some News About Your Grandma

Day after the Fourth of July and Cincinnati.com is coming in hot with a featured story. Most of America is waking up hungover, sore, tired and dreading the idea of even going to the office. Not over at The Enquirer though, they went into the newsroom and decided to fire off the most disgusting story of the year so far.

“Yes, your grandmother is having sex”

What the hell man. No one wanted to wake up and see this on a casual Wednesday morning. I do no want to think about grandma, nana, mimi, meemaw, anyone’s grandmother having sex. There are some sick people in the news room at The Enquirer/USA today. As far as I’m concerned no one has sex once they have kids, ever. That last kid happens and they’re just celibate for the rest of their lives. Let me at least have that because the opposite of that creeps me out.

Cincinnati.com though wants to take away my innocence and I’m not having that. If grandma wants to do that she can just don’t tell everyone. Of course retirement homes are like the Bunny Ranch, you know like a hostel where everyone hooksup. I don’t want to read a story on that either but that’s more acceptable because we all find it funny. Like a college dorm for old people.

Homer had a great game Tuesday night, maybe talk about that instead of nana and papaw going heels to jesus.

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