FC Cincinnati Fan Writes Satirical Post About His Favorite Part Of Nippert

Listen this was a satirical post. It was meant in “fun” blah blah blah. Enough of these hipster douchebags. Sure it was satirical but there is a bit of underlying seriousness in the post.

Corporate brands pay for your team to be on the field. Sponsors are a part of everything, Toyota is across the chest of your uniforms. Mocking a college campus/neighborhood for having a Kroger, Chipotle, and Chick Fil A is kind of comical. Here is an interpretation of the post;

Why don’t college kids shop at Whole Foods or the local farmers market? Can’t believe they need an affordable alternative. What snowflakes. Clifton Market isn’t that far, support local business for fuck’s sake. Starbucks is overrated too, so many coffee shops in the city that serve better coffee. Chick Fil A supports Christain anti-gay groups, fuck them. The chicken isn’t even that good. (Fuck the CEO, that chicken is god damn delicious though.) Chipotle is basically cultural appropriation. White people making burritos in typical Mexican style? Yeah no thanks, I’ll go to Gomez.

At least when FCC moves to Oakley we won’t have any of these big corporate chains around us, man. Local shops to support and keep the money local. That’s what we all want.

FCC’s proposed Oakley site sits next to Sam’s Club, Meijer, Target, Kroger, Bar Louie, Olive Garden, Dollar Tree, IHOP, Chick Fil A and Mod Pizza. 

As for the traffic situation Clifton just fucking sucks, dude. I was stuck in a garage for 20 minutes. Fucking unbelievable, the roads around Clifton aren’t made for the 20k of us. Bearcats fans are lying when they say they don’t have that big of a problem. Why doesn’t our garage get its own lane on the street? Let us out first. All the street lights need to be green for us to get to the highway. Ridiculous we’re stuck in traffic on roads designed for the 1920’s. The roads around Oakley are well built and ready to handle our 25k traffic.

At least we’ll be able to go to MadTree to get a brew before the match. They’re getting a little too big for my taste but I’ll still support them for being that close to the stadium. We couldn’t get that in Clifton. Just shitty college bars and no breweries. Soccer games need breweries nearby or it’s a good atmosphere.

— Sent from iPhone

Low key just hate hipster soccer fans. We get it, you like to watch a boring sport and cheer for mediocrity. Fine. Congrats but don’t write a post and call it satirical when it’s how you really feel. Extra money for the university is awesome but the fans have made the club insufferable. Just leave, make the MLS, don’t make the MLS doesn’t really matter.

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