Is Mick Cronin’s Wrath Actually Worse Than God’s? My Column
Mick Cronin v. God.
One is the leader of thousands, the other leads billions. One is viewed as a successful basketball coach capable of making it to March, the other a supreme being with the ability to produce a son who rose from the dead like The Walking Dead. One strikes fear into thousands with his chin and stare, the other through moral judgment no one can see like Santa Claus. Each has produced only one child.
Maybe Mick Cronin’s wrath is actually worse. At least in the moment.
Jon Rothstein seems to think so.
Can you imagine what Cincinnati's locker room was like at halftime tonight? The wrath of Cronin is scarier than the wrath of God.
— Jon Rothstein (@JonRothstein) February 1, 2018
He’s right Mick Cronin’s wrath is scarier and here is why. You can physically see it coming and you know the storm that awaits you. It’s a tangible thing, you know Phil Knight was angry a kid was probably getting smacked, a folding chair tossed or a guy brandished. With Mick you know there is a verbal lashing and likely a jacket throw awaiting you in that locker room. Not to mention you have to look down at him thrusting his chin out further than Buzz Killington.
With God, you don’t know when it’s coming. Personally, I have yet to see his wrath on earth unless we’re counting hurricanes and earthquakes but Jesse Ventura told us that was all because of HARP and God isn’t a government run agency. Maybe in the afterlife is when you catch his wrath. St. Peter lets you in and you think it’s all good as he drives you in his Cadillac, the forests look so beautiful. Then he stops, and you’re like Pete, what are we doing on this dirt road in the woods? Then it clicks, this guy is going to kill me, you get out and try to crawl away after he calls you a “stupid cunt” but you still catch a bullet to the back of the head. Maybe that’s the wrath you’re greeted with?
While God might be a deity, Mick Cronin is a five-foot-seven-inch statue of fury walking on this earth. For now, Mick’s wrath is scarier than God’s. That is until Jesus gets a little too lippy about being the Messiah and God smacks him back into place with a clap of thunder. I’ve always thought of the God/Jesus relationship like a superhero type of thing. God sits in a chamber with tall ceilings and big ass chair, like a Hercules/Zeus relationship. Maybe some Guardians of the Galaxy action mixed with Stars hierarchy in the dark side. Just spit balling here.
Mick Cronin, scarier than God.
Of course one over the top killjoy came sliding in. People in the south can never take a joke about religion.
I can assure you that was a dumb ass statement! Nothing is as scary as the wrath of god. You have a ton of great analogies but this made you lose credibility in every one of them. Really @JonRothstein PITIFUL STATEMENT!
— Clayton Hogan (@ClaytonHogan84) February 1, 2018
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