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Reds Lose Tough One To Marlins 2-1

CINCINNATI — Nathan Eovaldi was facing the Cincinnati Reds for the second time in six days on Friday night. But after giving up a run on two hits over seven innings the last time out against them, there was no reason for the Marlins right hander to alter his approach. Eovaldi continued his mastery of the Reds with eight shutout innings and Giancarlo Stanton homered, helping Miami to a 2-1…

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Jason Sudeikis Is Back As Coach Ted Lasso

Absolutely killed it again this year. Ted Lasso is an American national treasure at this point, coached Tottenham Hotspur last season, back in the states this year. Hated Sudeikis on Always Sunny when he showed up for an episode, no idea what else he has been in but this is the best thing he’s done ever. Spelling/english question here. Explain this to me Ms.Duvall my second grade spelling teacher, if…

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Matt Scott With The Old Vomit TD Pass

Bengals thrid/fourth quarterback replaced an injured Jason Campbell in the fourth quarter. No one had any clue who Matt Scott was before last night, except the people in Arizona. But he pulled off the infamous vomit touch down pass last night. Turns out this is kind of Matt Scott’s thing. He did it at Arizona and it has rolled over to the pros. Imagine this kid in a Super Bowl,…

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Jason Campbell Is Actually The Worst Bengals QB

Yeah maybe Andy Dalton is the best quarterback on the Bengals roster at the moment. Jason Campbell out there playing like Matt Saracen the back up. Coach Taylor put Hue Jackson to shame, granted I’m terrified of Hue Jackson. I saw you in Wolf of Wall Street Coach Taylor, you’re not so scary. Back to the fucking point, Jason Campbell is horrid. Piece of advice, when the Raiders cut someone…

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Reds Take Ohio Cup From Indians

CINCINNATI — Homer Bailey went seven innings, singled and scored, and knocked down a liner coming right at his head, eventfully night for the Texan, but was able to shutdown the Cleveland Indians. Bailey pitched seven innings to end his personal losing streak against the Indians and Billy Hamilton had an RBI triple and scored a run Thursday night, leading the Cincinnati Reds to a 4-0 victory over the Indians….

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Chrissy Teigen…. You Definitely Can Pitch

The beautiful Swimsuit model Chrissy Teigen threw out the ceremonial first pitch before Tuesday’s game between the Angels and Dodgers and it was certainly more entertaining than your usual toss. For starters, Teigen started the day off by tweeting that her dad was making birthday margaritas “like only dad can!!” That was followed by two tweets an hour later that read “Crap I’m pretty drunk” and “My mom is bombed.”…

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Wayne Gretzky Wants Dustin Johnson To Clean Up, Paulina?

Yahoo Sports—Golfer Dustin Johnson is engaged to Paulina Gretzky. Dustin Johnson is also taking a leave of absence from the PGA Tour. Golf.com said it was a six-month suspension for a positive cocaine test. The PGA denied that, but then again it denied a previous situation in which Johnson was reportedly suspended as well. All of this is straight out of the handbook for “How Not To Impress Your Soon-To-Be…

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The Morning Update (8/7): Cincinnati Reds Win, All-Star Logo, LeBron

Cincinnati Reds won, the 2015 All-Star game has a logo, Greg Oden is punching women and LeBron got skinny. Wednesday pretty much had it all if you’re a sports fan, and some German soccer coaches weren’t happy with how hard the other side played. Welcome to America pussies. Somehow I missed doing an update yesterday, but if you haven’t seen Guardians of the Galaxy do yourself a favor and go…

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